Guilt
July 10th 2008 01:57
Wow, no entry in over two weeks. Shameful.
Today, though, I'd like to talk about guilt.
I work a 40 hour week at a job that taxes my mental facilities on a daily basis. At least one night a week I drag my sorry, tired ass off to school, where I'm studying for a professional certificate in my area of business (Grad school doesn't start until Spring). And I have a one year old son that is at least 6 months ahead of the curve. When then, do I find time to be the Married Gamer, much less play said games?
On weeknights, after my son goes to sleep, somewhere between 8pm and the next morning; when the wife isn't watching Scott Baio is Flavoring Love with Tila Tequila in New York (coming soon to a living room near you) and I'm able to prop my eyes open after she moves into the boudoir; and my homework is caught up--or not--I MIGHT get an hour or ninety-minutes to pop in a disc. Barely enough time to load the most recent save game (Bully, I'm talking to you...). And even at that, I'm forgoing precious slumber.
Weekend days are the most difficult, because there is so much down time, yet I feel guilty turning the machines on when my son is awake and engaging with everything around him. For starters, he's very interested in the moving images on the wall sized frame before him, so of course rampaging through Liberty City as a conflicted Eastern European isn't really an option. So, it's on to lighter fair like Ratchet and Clank Future Tools of Destruction ...which begins the inevitable round of controller tug-of-war. Though I can hand him an identical unit, he somehow KNOWS--at one year old, no less--that unless the green/red/blue light is lit in the first position, that he's been given a decoy.
Here's when I get in the majority of my play time: weekend mornings between midnight and whenever I pass out with a plate of Oreo crumbs resting on my chest. At 6am, I'm allowed to darken the bedroom door and hand the torch to my wife, so I can sleep until eleven.
Obviously, not the ideal situation...yet I can't imagine a scenario where gaming fits into my life at all...but I can't stop. Is it better to be home and half-engaged in whatever is going on, able to pause the game to change a diaper or relocate the trash than to not be home at all? I don't watch sports. I don't play golf. I don't go to the bars. There's like fifty hours of most men's weeks, no?
Oh well, still on the first disc of Lost Odyssey. I haven't played a turn based RPG since Final Fantasy X. I forgot how much fun they are...though random battles are a useless relic whose time has come and gone.
Drop a comment if you have any insight to offer, or even if you just want me to stop bitching. I can take criticism--I'm married, remember?
That's all I got.
Today, though, I'd like to talk about guilt.
I work a 40 hour week at a job that taxes my mental facilities on a daily basis. At least one night a week I drag my sorry, tired ass off to school, where I'm studying for a professional certificate in my area of business (Grad school doesn't start until Spring). And I have a one year old son that is at least 6 months ahead of the curve. When then, do I find time to be the Married Gamer, much less play said games?
On weeknights, after my son goes to sleep, somewhere between 8pm and the next morning; when the wife isn't watching Scott Baio is Flavoring Love with Tila Tequila in New York (coming soon to a living room near you) and I'm able to prop my eyes open after she moves into the boudoir; and my homework is caught up--or not--I MIGHT get an hour or ninety-minutes to pop in a disc. Barely enough time to load the most recent save game (Bully, I'm talking to you...). And even at that, I'm forgoing precious slumber.
Weekend days are the most difficult, because there is so much down time, yet I feel guilty turning the machines on when my son is awake and engaging with everything around him. For starters, he's very interested in the moving images on the wall sized frame before him, so of course rampaging through Liberty City as a conflicted Eastern European isn't really an option. So, it's on to lighter fair like Ratchet and Clank Future Tools of Destruction ...which begins the inevitable round of controller tug-of-war. Though I can hand him an identical unit, he somehow KNOWS--at one year old, no less--that unless the green/red/blue light is lit in the first position, that he's been given a decoy.
Here's when I get in the majority of my play time: weekend mornings between midnight and whenever I pass out with a plate of Oreo crumbs resting on my chest. At 6am, I'm allowed to darken the bedroom door and hand the torch to my wife, so I can sleep until eleven.
Obviously, not the ideal situation...yet I can't imagine a scenario where gaming fits into my life at all...but I can't stop. Is it better to be home and half-engaged in whatever is going on, able to pause the game to change a diaper or relocate the trash than to not be home at all? I don't watch sports. I don't play golf. I don't go to the bars. There's like fifty hours of most men's weeks, no?
Oh well, still on the first disc of Lost Odyssey. I haven't played a turn based RPG since Final Fantasy X. I forgot how much fun they are...though random battles are a useless relic whose time has come and gone.
Drop a comment if you have any insight to offer, or even if you just want me to stop bitching. I can take criticism--I'm married, remember?
That's all I got.
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